Podcast
Tech satire for the people on call.
A satirical roundtable podcast where five recurring panelists react to real tech news. A burned-out SRE who's stopped being surprised. A legacy sysadmin who's seen this exact thing before, in a previous decade. A paranoid CISO who's measuring the second-order effects. A startup founder who can spin any disaster into a thread. And a retired sysadmin turned goat farmer, sitting in because someone keeps inviting him. New episodes weekly, ~15 minutes each.
Listen on
Distribution is being set up. Links will populate when the show is published.
The Panel
Has been doing this for a while. Knows enough to know what the panel is talking about. Doesn't need it explained. Curious about the things that haven't happened yet, exhausted by the things that keep happening. Runs the show because somebody had to, and the panelists weren't going to.
Racked his first server when it cost more than a car. Wrote sendmail.cf by hand and is not bitter about it. Has watched antivirus eat the operating system in seven different decades. Does not believe modern tools are bad. Believes they are not new. Will tell you what your problem is called in the language of the system that solved it twenty years ago, if you ask, and sometimes if you don't.
Eight years on call. Has stopped being surprised. Reads status pages the way other people read horoscopes — the same way every time, with no expectation that anything will change. Currently in incident. Was in incident yesterday. Will be in incident on Friday afternoon. The post-mortem is already written; she just hasn't filled in the timestamps yet.
Reads every Mandiant report the day it drops. Has a SCIF in his basement. Is not paranoid. Is calibrated. Sees the second-order effect, then the third, then the one after that. Will tell you which threat actor cluster he suspects and why, and will be specific about what he's guessing and what he isn't. Has been right enough times to be unwilling to stop.
Raised a small seed eighteen months ago. Has a podcast. Believes everything that happens to him is content. Is mentally already writing the LinkedIn post about whatever just happened. Buddy of Lenny's. Knows a guy at Stripe. Sees the upside in literally any situation, including this one. Currently building in public.
Spent decades in the work. Racked the servers, ran the pager, wrote the runbooks nobody read. Got out. Goats now. Recognizes what the panel is describing because he lived through it, and chose differently. Has a list. The list is 118 reasons long. He didn't number them out loud, but they came out numbered anyway. He doesn't miss any of it.
Episodes will be available on the major podcast platforms once distribution is set up.
For inquiries: contact@goatsecurity.ai